Time flies by in its many intricate patterns and each second leaves the heavy imprint of a weightless barrier never to return. I’ve found the goals in my life, reemerging once again from the static confusion of my indefinable choices. Yet now I’ve chosen, and to follow these to the end will require the willpower I’ve always desired.

So the real reason I've started writing this is to put my goals and choices in the public eye, at least relatively so, and to keep track of my progress and thoughts until I can complete it, while at the same time writing and loosening the stream of thought which seems to be blocked up with inordinate amounts of flotsam for whatever particular reason.

I'm going to compete in an Ironman in 303 days. I haven't swam in years, 2.4 miles of that, the most I've run is 8 miles probably, I'll have to run 26.2. And while I've done a century, a couple in fact, its been 2 years and I have 112 miles to go on that weekday. I'll need to drop weight and then drop more weight, and then drop even more weight. And the problem is, a lot of the weight I need to drop is now muscle, so I basically have to shed muscle, the non core ones, which may mean under nutrition and over work to get some of the muscles to eat themselves and rebuild harder. That will probably be the most difficult, but I want to get to 165 and right now I'm at 205. And I want to do it by my birthday. I need to save 5 grand, for hotel, for a new tri bike, for a wetsuit, and probably by then, some new running shoes, and all the appropriate gear in between. But I will prevail, for this is my goal, contingent solely upon me. All the way in, no backing out. This is my goal