A new life of fun and dumb

It seems I've found myself at the genesis of a new stage of my life. And I like it, so I might as well be creative about writing the story of it, rather than giving some wordy, overly descriptive version of the true facts, I think its better to embellish the truth first, and then overly wordify/describify the process by which I've arrived at the step which I'm about to take.... So to begin.

Naturally the night was dark and stormy, the gods throwing down their merciless wrath to strike down human and hobbit alike, allowing no creature to stir from the twisted leaf strewn world of the dreaded land of Boston. I ventured out into the maelstrom, dedicated to bringing back a grizzly bear for dinner, or at least some McDonald's fries. Walking and walking, past tortured forests and gnarly trees bent beyond ordinary belief into the weird, Poe-shapes often seen during figure skating competitions. No one knew my intent, nor really did I, but as a living breathing procrastinator of great ingenuitity and honest deception, I refused to let the lack of planning and followthrough hamper my quest. Shortly after hopping over a plague stricken child and narrowly avoiding a couple dueling zombies, I arrived at the summit of my journey. Of course, now being here, I realized I forgot to bring all money, change, credit, and was forced to barter with the elf standing behind the counter. I ended up relieving myself of an old 4lb wad of granite I found while invading Mongolia. Long story.

Truly, I must admit, it is only after I left with my choice selection of overprocessed fat when I discovered myself in a new land. Only a second ago, Ronald was high fiving me and I was skipping down the street, now, I'm thinking. Totally unprepared for this revelation, I stop eating the fries in order to see if these were the catalyst forcing such an epidemic pox upon my brain.

Soon after, three days later, I decided to compete in the Kentucky Ironman next August, where I will test my command of random idea exposure against people who only want to swim, run, and smoke the rubber my tires leave in their wake.

112 miles of biking, but at least thats after the 2.4 miles of swimming. And luckily I can finish all that before the 26.2 mile full marathon. Ha, craziness is for fools with chicken wings. Lunacy will get you in far more trouble.