Long time

Its true, I the mighty Juan Gonedigo de San Marcheviato, will proceed to dig this ditch of enormous size, breadth and capacity, in order to allow the passage of the mighty ship that I see not too far in the distance. Most people might think it impossible that one man and his trustworthy steed of stainless steel wheels could not possible manage this daunting goal of moving 5 million cubic yards of topsoil and limestone. Yet, none of these naysayers know of my secret weapon, the inconquerable drill bit that I attach to the mighty phallus hanging sturdly from my groin. It is so mighty in fact, that I simply attach the diamond coated covering, line up on the desired trajectory, and begin looking at the pictures of erotic postures I have neatly lined like the ubiquitious carrot-on-a-stick-in-front-of-a-donkey routine. This occasionally proves difficult because of my lack of arms, but the mighty Juan Gonedigo de San Marcheviato will not countenance failure for such measly hindrances as no arms or legs, I have...the drill...

(Subsequently in this story that probably should not be continued due to its irrelevance to any pertinent fact of any insignificant period of time, Juan attempts his magnificent feat, falls out of his wheel chair onto the ground, proceeds to dig straight downwards, until his magazine is torn to shreds by friction, and rather than valiantly saving the cruise ship that is uncontrollably running aground, he manages to "pound" his way through the fuel hull, causing a spark right as he punctures the third hull of protection, causing a cascading river of fire to envelop the cruise ship and seep out onto the last preserve of the almost extinct, imminently rare, spectacularly beautiful, talking iridescent snapping turtle. Juan has since been brought up on charges of willful destruction of national and private property, extinction of endangered animals and habitat, 1st degree manslaughter, public nudity/indecency, and the hospital sent him to the collection agency for not returning the wheelchair, which amazingly, was actually protecting the last turtle from the flames until a chance boiler from the cruise ship landed on it. Juan has been convicted of all charges postmortem, because he did not show up to court to defend himself.)